Looking at ourselves through other people’s eyes, we are usually way more awesome than we think we are!
Are you ever surprised when people are more impressed with what you do than you are yourself. I certainly am. I think what we do each day because it’s just what we do. We don’t admire ourselves the way we would others doing the same thing. Motherhood is one of those areas where we constantly beat ourselves up for not being good enough. Mother-guilt is a very pervasive beast so we never feel we quite measure up. But after a conversation I had recently about some women for whom having their children taken away from them by authorities is a reality, I figure that I must be doing ok given this has never been an issue for me. And then there is my work. People always seem way more impressed with what I do than I am.
So why don’t we appreciate how good we really are. Yes we are confident in our abilities to a certain degree, but we always doubt and compare ourselves to someone who we think is doing better than us. The reality is that whoever we are comparing ourselves to are more than likely comparing themselves to someone else. Funnily enough they are probably even comparing themselves to us. Apart from the narcissists amongst us, we generally never think we are quite good enough. Plenty of people pretend to those on the outside that they are confident in their abilities, but inside can be feeling extremely insecure. We worry that people will find out that we really are not as good as they think we are. I have heard this referred to as the Impostor Syndrome. A sad reflection really.
If you are doubting yourself, an interesting exercise is writing a covering letter as if you are applying for job, or even just writing a list of what you have done well in your life. You might just be surprised at how far you have come. What I find works really well is writing a list of what I have accomplished. I guess it is easier because if I have actually achieved or done something, then there is some sort of evidence that I could actually do it. It can be a really good reinforcement that you are on the right track. Think about what you have done over your career. You are usually doing something more than what you did for your first job, unless of course you are one of those rare lucky ducks who chose the right thing from the start. I am certainly doing more than making mellon balls. Yes, you read correctly. My first job was making mellon balls for mellon ball cocktails. Riveting. I guess you could say I have come a long way since then!
Go forth and be your awesome self!
Til next time…